letter to simone

to my dearest baby girl,

i had a horrible dream last night. my dream started with me waking up to find blood in my sheets. i woke your father up and we went to the emergency room. after doing an ultra sound, they discovered that my uterus had ruptured. (remember, this is a dream, so this might not be a real medical condition) they told us that i had to go into surgery immediately. they were going to try to sew up my uterus to stop the bleeding and to save you. after hours of waiting, i was finally out surgery. and then....

my phone started ringing in real life. it woke me up from this horrific dream; leaving me panicked. the dream never finished and i was never able to see if you were okay. i started crying.

even though it was just a dream, it felt so real.

i want you to know that no matter how much i dislike being pregnant or how much i complain, i love you. i already love you and want nothing more than for you to healthy.

with so much love from my heart,

mom

Suprise, Suprise!!!!!!!

I started bleeding and cramping on Thursday. Not good when your pregnant. I had to go in for an emergency ultra sound friday morning. Everything is fine. They couldn't find anything wrong. Yeah! In fact the baby is a perfect weight and length. The baby is really active.

OH...did I mention it's a GIRL!!!!

Yep, another girl. Between 7 girlfriends and their combined 9 children, they are all girls. What the eff!!! I was convinced that I was having a boy. I made the ultra sound tech check twice.

PS... I found one thing I'm good at during pregnancy. My mid wife told me that I was the envy of all pregnant women because at 4 1/2 months, I've only gained 3 pounds. The baby's healthy and I'm healthy. I eat like a pig. I guess it's just my body. Yeah! If I had to add being gianormous (yeah it's a word in urban dictionary..look it up) I think I would cry even more than I do now.

Issues? Who says I have Issues?

So I was cleaning out my purse and found all these lists and I realized that I make A LOT of lists. Math lists, grocery lists, and random lists. I thought I would share rather than talk about them. Enjoy. Laugh.


A list for my bath body stuff:



This one is really. I put down to eat, twice! Who needs to write that!

Heat Wave

I love Florida. I am one of the rare people who welcomes the 90 degree heat. Part of this is due to the fact that I was lucky to grow up in a small beach town. I think that gives you a different perspective on the Florida heat. That said, this week has been unseasonably hot. Almost 10 degrees above where we should be this time of year. We are breaking temperature records. Now, normally this would not be an issue; however I'm pregnant.


I came home on saturday afternoon and the house was hot. I turned the air down to 69 degrees trying to cool the house down. Hours later, the thermostat was set at 69, but read 81 degrees. I was dying. I turned the shower on the coldest setting and hopped in. My body was radiating so much heat that by the time the water hit my head, it would turn warm. I tried laying naked under the ceiling fan. Still unbelievably hot. At this point, my anxiety takes over. I lose it. I'm crying hysterically. I have this vision of it being mid July and a hurricane comes and knocks out our power. I have no air conditioning; no water! I keep thinking about is all the women who said, "oh, your going to be pregnant over the summer." In a voice that is dripping with pure sympathy and a face that reads "that poor girl". Now I get it. Which makes me cry even harder. I'm screaming in between tears to Jason that he better do something to get this problem fixed or I'm leaving. There is no way that I can spend four months like this! Poor guy! The house eventually cooled down and after a frantic phone call to my mother, I started to feel better.

I think this summer is going to be very interesting. i foresee myself bathing in a tubs of ice!

on being pregnant......

I very much dislike being pregnant. Let me preface this by saying that I don't believe in anyway this will make me a bad mother or love my child any less. I just hate being pregnant. I feel like I'm growing an alien. My body is weird and just not right. I think that every pregnant woman out there must forget all the crazy things that happen to their bodies. I"m constantly discharging, farting and burping. I get nose bleeds and my gums bleed. My heartburn is so severe, it wakes me up in the middle of the night. I can't stand to be around certain smells. I'm grumpy, cranky, and cry often. When I do poop, normally once a week, it is either really hard and hurts coming out or it is sticky like peanut butter and takes a whole roll of toilet paper. I get dizzy and weak feeling; followed by a hunger I can only describe in way that if you don't get me 5 pounds of food right now, I'm going to die!

Okay! I feel better. Let's hope this second trimester becomes half as good as people say it is.